Sometimes I have clients who ask me if I think they may be cursed.
Bad incident, after bad incident, after bad incident can make a person feel that life is against him or her. I do want to state that some people just have rotten luck, and bad luck can play a factor in a person’s life once in a while.
However, if you ever wonder why all the bad things seem to always happen to you, then perhaps you need to consider taking some accountability for the choices you made along the way that brought you to this moment.
You are where you are because of a series of choices you made. Financially broke? You made choices to end up there. Heartbroken? You made choices to end up there. Unhealthy? You made choices that end up there.
For the record, I am guilty of this as well. I am not pointing fingers. I have made a lot of bad choices in my life that got me to where I am, and I am by no means perfect.
We ALL make some bad choices. The key is to see if we can learn from the bad choices we made, by first identifying those choices and then making better choices.
Many years ago I got my heart stomped on over and over. I made choices to give people a chance when there were signs that I should not have. I made choices to ignore the warning signs. I made choices to assume facts, instead of finding out the true facts. I made choices to act on my feelings in the moment and accept poor behaviour of others because it hurt too much to pick myself up and move on. Then one day, I made the choice of saying, “Never Again!”
And from that moment on, I started to make different choices. Some were still the wrong choice. Other choices were good choices, but not great choices, until I learned through life experience how to make the best choices for myself. I could not be sure I was on the best path, but at least I made it a point to never again re-make the original choices that put me into the situation I ended up in.
Redemption is when you can trust yourself not to make the same mistakes again. At that moment of redemption, self-forgiveness is automatic and inner peace is the result.
So the next time you are asking yourself why bad things keep happening to you, please consider that you might not be cursed, but you do need to re-evaluate the choices you are making (or not making) to put you in a better place.
FRANK KERMIT MA
EXPERT RELATIONSHIP COACH
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